The Tonya Tapes

Once upon a time, before she made Nancy Kerrigan scream, "Why me?" Tonya Harding was a respected figure skater.

Yes. She was a national champion, two-time Olympian and the first American female to land a triple axel in competition.

White trash across the county was so proud...that is until January 1994 when her then-husband, Jeff Gillooly, came up with the brilliant idea to pay someone to club big teeth Kerrigan in the knee.

As my brother, Ben, would say, she got merked.

Now, the banned skater and former professional boxer says she wants to set the record straight (read between the lines: She needs some money).

Hence, "The Tonya Tapes." In it she says Gillooly was the villain who masterminded the beating and that he raped and threatened her into lying about it to the FBI. Eek!

I don't know about you, but I'm so over Nancy, anyway. Let's bring Tonya back!

xoxoL