Friday, October 10, 2008

A moving message

I received an e-mail today from a friend and former co-worker of mine in response to the recent entry I posted regarding spouses sharing finances. It was just too beautiful not to share with you:

"I smiled when I read your article about sharing finances with your husband. Here's how my wife and I approach it. When we were married March 29, 1975, Pat was a Columbus schoolteacher making about as much as I did at the L-E. We immediately merged bank accounts. Our faith taught us that when we marry, we become one in every sense of the word. What I have belongs to her. What she has also belongs to me. We work together on how we use those resources. We won't always agree. When necessary, we work out a compromise. Just before our first child arrived, Pat chose to retire from teaching, making us a one-income-earning household. You bet -- living on an L-E salary that was far less than what you make now. We had to make tough choices on how to spend our greatly reduced income. Fewer movies, bowling nights, dates for supper; more focus on the needs of our third family member. Life got a bit more serious. But God stretched our dollars and enabled us to get through the tough financial times, with child no. 1, child no. 2 and child no. 3.

Marriage is a partnership. Just as life itself, there are good times; there are tough times; there are times you might wonder 'Why did I get into all of this?' But life is also a very special journey--an adventure every day; full of excitement as we face the unknown tomorrows. But we do it together. When times are good, we laugh and enjoy it together. When tragedy strikes, we pray, cry and hold on together. We grow together in our faith. We grow more mature together. We learn tough lessons together. And now, we grow old together. She becomes more beautiful every day. Her wisdom amazes. But it's from God. Why should I be so surprised?

Things got tough earlier this year when her heart started doing unexpected things. When the cardiologist told her if she didn't replace the mitral valve in her heart that she could expect to spend the rest of her life in a rocking chair, with her breathing becoming more and more difficult, we knew she had no choice. We prayed for God's wisdom and protection. As always, He didn't let us down. He protected her and guided her through the surgery and aftermath in a way that even amazed her physicians. I believe our faith and trust had a lot to do with it. We have since spent several days in a Panama City condo on the beach, five days in the Smoky Mountains in a very nice cabin and taken short out-of-town trips. Now you wouldn't know she had the surgery. She looks great and has a great prognosis for the future.

You will find -- especially after your husband is home for good, that a marriage is the best-possible partnership,when both partners are dedicated to making it work, are determined to build a strong relationship founded on genuine love and devotion, and both are willing to sacrifice to make the partner's life better and more fulfilling.

You will have disagreements as long as you are on this Earth in the flesh. You still have two brains. You probably grew up in different worlds and don't share the same upbringing. Sharing your thoughts and attitudes is crucial. Humans tend to deal better with things when they better understand the whats and whys of a spouse's position. Believe me, you CAN work through almost any difference of opinion. You need sticktoitness.Never, never, never give up on each other.

Grow together; learn together; discover truths together. Remember your commitment. Let your love grow daily. Do special things for your Honey. Let him know he's special and always will be. And life will be good, despite the struggles and tough times. We grow most in tough times.God bless you."

Thank you so much, Harry.

Take care everyone and have a safe, happy weekend.

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